Michelle Zhang/Shanghai Daily news

I was busy dealing with my messy desk, looking for a missing file when the public relations person for a new club called.
"Do you think you can write something on that? ... are you single?"
"Well, let's see about the story ... Yes, I'm single (no hesitation.)"
"Then come to our speed dating party tomorrow night!"
"Okay."
Oh, no, what did I say? I didn't want to sound like a desperate single woman.
"Hey, just come over and have some fun. Don't worry, we only invite decent guys and girls, and there will be free cocktails."
That sounded good. Don't worry about the "speed dating" thing, I told myself. So I decided to go.
I was the eighth girl to arrive, while all the 10 young men were already there.
Oh no, I saw a girl friend who works for a magazine. Then I saw DJ Ryan, who I had thought of interviewing.
I was led to my table, the best in the lounge area - a large red opium bed with peacock blue cushions. All the girls stayed at their tables, while guys were required to switch tables every 10 minutes.
The game started when the first guy sat down at my table - not bad. But he suggested we go to a nearby bar because his advertising company would organize a party there.
"Are you kidding? I just wrote a preview story on that party!" I shouted.
The guy's colleague, who sat next to us, turned his head: "Don't tell me you're Michelle!"
"Yes, I am!"
"Oh, I'm Eric. We haven't met but we just talked on the phone this afternoon!"
What a small world!
In the next an hour and half, I met the "Canadian delegation," composed of DJ Ryan, a friend of his who is a MC performer and another friend who is in town for a vacation; the "Hong Kong delegation" including an interior designer and his friend who works for a clothing company; the "Shanghai local delegation" including a model, whom I often meet at fashion parties, and a classmate of my colleague; as well as the "advertising company delegation" with Eric and his two coworkers.
My first "speed dating" experience, I was sad to say, turned out more like an interview with 10 different guys, most of whom were acquaintances or friends of friends. And I couldn't help asking: Are these guys really looking for a girlfriend among these "decent girls"?
Seven out of 10 said "No." Like me, they were just coming over to meet more friends and have fun. (Some of them were not even single.)
Nowadays, more and more parties are designed especially for single young people, with poor results.
As a single young woman, I find it's more and more difficult to find a guy with whom I can have a good conversation. To me, they are either too young, or too old; too handsome, or too ugly; too tall, or too short; too rich, or too poor; too talkative, or too speechless...
I couldn't stand listening quietly to a boring man, in his lousy suit, or ugly bold "Stanford" T shirt, especially when he only wants to talk about his successful business or excellent education.
I would have rather coffee or dinner alone and pay my own bill.
Most men like to show off when they are with women, just like proud peacocks in front of potential mates. They want to be seen at a superior level.
However, we "decent girls" don't always massage their pride and feathers.
We "decent girls" have received decent education, got decent jobs with decent pay, and we speak decent English, just like the guys. In school, we were urged to surpass them in every respect, and we often did.
They say love is like a battle. But what if both sides want to win?
It's easier for guys, more than girls, to find an alternative by seeking a "second-class" mate, perhaps a woman with a lower educational level or a lower paying job.
However, it's difficult for girls to do the same thing.
Before I went to the speed dating event, my single girl friends urged me to see if I could find a "better man." I tried.
No luck with speed dating.
So, tell us, please, where have all the good men - the single ones - gone?