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Dating game sounds fun, liberating but it's tough work, disappointing
5/12/2005 8:00

After working a dozen hours every day, 32-year-old Wei Ping often visits the Bailingtan Bar in downtown Beijing in the early evening.
He does not go there simply to relax, but for something more important: finding the lady of his heart.
Wei manages a Beijing-based IT company. Busy with his work, Wei said he has few chances to meet people outside his company. Although his parents and friends have arranged several dates, Wei said he hadn't found the right person.
"Sometimes I feel confused. Ladies with a higher educational background and a good job have unrealistically high expectations of men - higher incomes, romance and more," said Wei.
The Bailingtan Bar provides special services for single men and women, 27 to 38.
Visitors like Wei can exchange personal information with each other free of charge and participate in various entertainment games.
Currently, 3,000 people have registered their personal information, said bar owner Li Jingming. So far, the bar has helped several dozen couples tie the knot, he said.
Great changes have taken place in China in the last several decades, especially since the reform and opening up policy was adopted more than two decades ago.
In the early 20th century marriages were mostly arranged by parents with the advice of a matchmaker. It was common for young people to meet through go-betweens 30 years ago. Today, young Chinese are more free and have more channels through which to choose their spouses. They can declare their love for someone they have longed for on TV programs, or go to the  "Bachelors' Club" for love at first sight. They can also surf dating Websites.
However, in real life they face many difficulties in finding love. The matchmaker is not gone from the scene.
"We really have a more open and loose social environment and there are more relationships. But in fact, we don't have much time to date, since everybody shoulders great pressure from work and everyday life," said 29-year-old Li Sha, an editor at a Beijing publishing house.
"And I don't want to just find somebody and get married. I hope to find someone who sees eye-to-eye with me in everything we do," said Li.
The increasing number of unmarried people of traditional marrying age has aroused wide concern.
A survey by the Social Investigation Center of the China Youth Daily showed that 58.6 percent of respondents said that having few opportunities to make friends is the main reason why they remain single.
About 45.1 percent of respondents said high expectations are to blame and another 27.1 percent said they are too busy with work and don't have time to make friends.
Statistics show there are more than 1 million single people aged about 30 in Beijing and Shanghai.
(Xinhua)