Dating game sounds fun, liberating but it's tough work, disappointing
5/12/2005 8:00
After working a dozen hours every day, 32-year-old Wei Ping often visits the
Bailingtan Bar in downtown Beijing in the early evening. He does not go there
simply to relax, but for something more important: finding the lady of his
heart. Wei manages a Beijing-based IT company. Busy with his work, Wei said
he has few chances to meet people outside his company. Although his parents and
friends have arranged several dates, Wei said he hadn't found the right
person. "Sometimes I feel confused. Ladies with a higher educational
background and a good job have unrealistically high expectations of men - higher
incomes, romance and more," said Wei. The Bailingtan Bar provides special
services for single men and women, 27 to 38. Visitors like Wei can exchange
personal information with each other free of charge and participate in various
entertainment games. Currently, 3,000 people have registered their personal
information, said bar owner Li Jingming. So far, the bar has helped several
dozen couples tie the knot, he said. Great changes have taken place in China
in the last several decades, especially since the reform and opening up policy
was adopted more than two decades ago. In the early 20th century marriages
were mostly arranged by parents with the advice of a matchmaker. It was common
for young people to meet through go-betweens 30 years ago. Today, young Chinese
are more free and have more channels through which to choose their spouses. They
can declare their love for someone they have longed for on TV programs, or go to
the "Bachelors' Club" for love at first sight. They can also surf dating
Websites. However, in real life they face many difficulties in finding love.
The matchmaker is not gone from the scene. "We really have a more open and
loose social environment and there are more relationships. But in fact, we don't
have much time to date, since everybody shoulders great pressure from work and
everyday life," said 29-year-old Li Sha, an editor at a Beijing publishing
house. "And I don't want to just find somebody and get married. I hope to
find someone who sees eye-to-eye with me in everything we do," said Li. The
increasing number of unmarried people of traditional marrying age has aroused
wide concern. A survey by the Social Investigation Center of the China Youth
Daily showed that 58.6 percent of respondents said that having few opportunities
to make friends is the main reason why they remain single. About 45.1 percent
of respondents said high expectations are to blame and another 27.1 percent said
they are too busy with work and don't have time to make friends. Statistics
show there are more than 1 million single people aged about 30 in Beijing and
Shanghai. (Xinhua)
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